Can't touch this!

Here is an awesome video clip my son showed me.  I love it!

News!!!

And how could I forget to mention this!!!

Because of my yoga class that I've been going to, I can now do a full back bend! 

The first time I tried it (about 6 weeks ago) I could only get my hips off the ground.  My shoulder and head were another story all together.  They seemed glued to the floor.  My arms just didn't have the strength to push up and I was sure that my back would never be able to arch in such an unnatural position.  Miracles do happen my friend!  In my last class I was on the floor in the bridge position ready to push up into nothing because it has never happened, when low and behold I raised my body, arched my back and realized that I was in a full back bend!  Outbursts of joy are generally not done in a dimly lit yoga class, but believe me, every one knew what I had accomplished in that exact moment.  My puny appendages are getting some muscle and the rest of me is getting bendy! 

I love it! 

Toilets

One of my weird quirks is that I prefer to have my toilet lids completely lowered when not in use.  Something about walking into a bathroom and seeing right into the toilet seems so wrong to me.  My kids close the lids out of habit just because I've always had them do it since they first learned to use the toilet.  Sometimes when the kids have friends over, the friend will use the toilet and leave the lid or lids (depending on boy or girl) up.  

It drives me crazy!


I'd never dream of turning into the toilet police, standing outside the door and asking them if they remembered to close the lids, but as soon as I notice the offense, I remedy the situation.

My other quirk is that I prefer the toilet paper to roll over the top, not underneath.  

What about you?  Is there anything strange that you do?

The time I got kidnapped.....The Conclusion

I went back because my husband and kids were there, but why didn't I take them with me in the first place?  I don't really have an answer for that other than, you just had to be there.  

When I got back my husband was sitting on the couch with a look on his face I will never forget.  "What the HELL?" pretty much sums it up.

At this point, Annabelle grabbed me by the hand and declared that it was time to do something about my ankle.  She led me upstairs and into her bathroom.  Pointing to the soaking tub she said "Get in and I will fix your ankle for you."

"In there?" I asked, pointing to the tub.

"Yes, I'll hold the baby while you get undressed.  She can get in too if you'd like.  Then I'll massage your ankle and get the swelling down.  You'll feel much better."

"Actually, I'd feel much better going back to my house, putting my kids in their beds and unpacking."

"No.  It is too late.  I've already had your husband put your kids to bed here.  Get in."

"Even though a bath sounds wonderful and all, I'm not getting in.  I don't know you and I don't have clothes to change into or even underwear for that matter.  I'm going home now."

"You can wear my clothes and my underwear."

She really said that.  No lie.  

At this point it was probably 11 at night.  I was exhausted, my baby was exhausted and my thinking was getting worse by the minute.  I don't remember how, but I made my way back downstairs to my husband and whispered that we should get the kids and go.  As we were talking about what to do, she comes in and says "I'll show you to your room.  If you hear crying in the night please ignore it.  I sleep on a mattress in my sons room."   I didn't even know she had a son until that very moment.  

Once again I don't know what came over me.  I followed her upstairs to the room we would sleep in.  I still hadn't really had a chance to talk to my husband about everything that was going on because whenever I tried she managed to stop it.  The bed in our room looked like it had come right out of the princess and the pea fairy tale.  It was so tall, even the step stool wasn't enough to get in.  My husband gave me a shove, and climbed up next to me.  The mattress, if that's what it really was, was so soft and fluffy it was like laying on top of all of the filling from all of the pillows in a pillow factory at one time.  We sunk right in.  

We both lay there silent for a long time.  Then I started laughing.

"What is so funny."

"This!  This is crazy!"

"That's what I was thinking, but I've been trying to figure out what's been going on.  Care to fill me in?"

"She kidnapped me.  That's all I know."

"Why didn't you go home?"

That's when I told him about her bursting in our home and taking me and our baby on the longest car ride to her house.  I told him about the spots, the tub and the underwear.  He started laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"I thought you knew her.  Like she was some kind of long lost friend or something.  I couldn't figure out what you were doing, but I wasn't going to say anything.  You seemed so determined to do whatever she said."

"What!  Oh well, I guess you're right.  It's like she has mind control or something.  I didn't know what to do, you were gone when she came and I thought that the Relief Society had sent her.  I thought it was a strange welcome, but that's why I went with her in the first place.  I kinda don't think they had anything to do with this do you?"

He was laughing again, "No, I don't.  Have you seen whats in the bathroom we are supposed to use?"

"No, is something else wrong?"

"Cat litter.  Every where.  I don't think the litter box has ever been changed and the litter is all over the floor."

"I won't be going in there that's for sure.  What did she say about it when she showed you where the bathroom was?"

"Nothing.  She didn't even seem to notice that there was something wrong."

We lay silent again for a while when my husband started to really laugh.

"What is so funny?  I don't think this is very funny."

"I just thought that we are here in this wackos house, that you by the way got us into, and I'm just picturing her coming in here when we are asleep with a pick axe.  All I can think of is Jason from that movie.  Stab, Stab, Stab!"

"You are sick and wrong."

"Me?  Oh no, it isn't me, I assure you.  And what's the deal with her husband?  He doesn't talk.  He's probably scared of her too."

I started laughing so hard.  He was right!  We were in the home of someone who was really messed up. 

In the morning I got our things together as quickly as I could.  I grabbed my sleepy kids and we headed down the stairs for our escape.  Only thing is, she was waiting for us!

The table was set again in her fanciest finery.  She had made waffles, pancakes, muffins, french toast and juice.  My kids were starving and made a beeline for the table.  She started dishing up before we could say a word.  Once again, I sat down defeated.  She began to tell my son all about her plans for us.  She told him about the play, the dance recital and all of the goodies that would be there.  She pulled out a calendar and began going day by day, week by week all of the things we would do.  My sons eyes grew bigger and bigger.  The last thing she told him was, "The Saturday after Thanksgiving I am taking you to the mountains.  I have purchased our tags for our Christmas trees.  We will chop down our trees and bring them back here.  We will have hot chocolate with marshmallows.  Then we will string popcorn and cranberries."  While saying all of this to my son not only had she gotten his breakfast for him, she had pulled out all of her candy jars for him to choose a treat from.  It was like watching the old woman who lived in gingerbread house in the woods.


I had had enough.  I stood up and told my kids to go out and get in the car.  "But I haven't eaten my pancakes mom" my son said innocently.  


"I don't care.  Grab your sisters hand and go now."


My husband jumped to attention, shewing the kids to the front door.

I turned to Annabelle and said "Thank you for your hospitality.  We are leaving now."

"No, it isn't possible.  I haven't unpacked your house yet, and I haven't finished going through your calendar, you aren't leaving." she said in her still very robotic voice.


"We are going home now.  We are unpacking OUR house by ourselves.  We are not coming to a play or a dance recital.  We are not having Halloween and Thanksgiving here.  And I am most certainly not taking my new baby into the mountains, traipsing through the snow to chop down a tree."  

All of my frustration had boiled to the surface.  Her husband was staring at us, but still had not uttered a word.  I grabbed the diaper bag and followed my family to the front door.  


My son looks at me and says "Mom, she is real nice."


"No!"  I whispered, "She is CRAZY!"


My son looked at me with disbelief and said very loudly "She's not crazy mom!"  


Annabelle looked right at me.  I looked at her and turned to go out the door.  While walking to our car I remembered our pizza that her husband had picked up at our house the night before.  Turning to my husband I asked him to go get our pizza so we could have it for lunch.  He said to forget it.  I told him to go back and tell her husband to get our pizza and not to come to the car without it.  He knew I was losing it so he ran and got it for me.  Getting in the car he asked, "Why did you want the pizza so bad?  We could order another one?"


"Because, I don't know, maybe it's just that I wanted to show her that she does not have total control.  Sorry, that was weird of me, but thanks for getting it."


He laughed and said "The whole thing was weird."

We got home and not too long after there was a knock on the door.  I thought for sure it was Annabelle.  Instead, a nice looking woman introduced herself and asked if she could speak to me.  It turns out that she was the Relief Society President from our church.  My sisters friend that I had left a message for the night before contacted her and told her that Annabelle had taken us.  She sat down and told us that she owed us an apology and explained that Annabelle had recently gotten out of a mental hospital, but was still heavily medicated and one of her issues was fixating on something.  She had overheard some people at church mention that a family was moving into the house down the street from her and right then and there we became her fixation.  The people from our church figured this out, so they told her that we were coming a month later than we really were thinking this would prevent her from barging in on us during our move.  Annabelle is smart though and watched for the moving trucks.  The Relief Society President told me not to open the door when Annabelle came over and to not give her our phone number.  She said she knew it sounded mean, but it was the only way to get Annabelle to forget about us.  I told her the whole story and she felt really bad.   She said to not be surprised if Annabelle would peek in our windows when we didn't answer the door.  She told us that we had to be firm and hold our ground.  As far as knowing our house "intimately" it was true.  She had been in the house when the previous owners rented it out and had barged in a few times on them.  


We had a few more run ins with Annabelle, but eventually she left us alone.  About 2 years after moving in I had another very funny incident with her that I will share another time.  But there it is, with a few things left out here and there, the time I was kidnapped.  I laugh at myself when I think about it now.  It was a crazy time for sure.  I do feel bad for Annabelle and her family and I learned to have a lot of respect for her husband.  He was staying with her, hoping that she would break free from the mental illness that took hold of her not too long after they were married.  What a patient man. 

The time I got kidnapped: part II

Once I was in the car, I was very confused.  You see, in my church there is an organization called the Relief Society.  It consists of the adult women in our church.  The purpose of the Relief Society is to aid, support and care for anyone in need.  Sometimes when people move, the Relief Society will organize dinners for those leaving and for those coming.  I thought in my head at this time that perhaps the Relief Society had arranged for this woman to come and help me.  Her kind of help was very bizarre to say the least, but I went with her. 

As we started to drive away I said "Wait!  My husband won't know where I am!  I have no way of getting a hold of him and he will be very worried when he gets back.  I also ordered a pizza!  I can't just leave and not pay for it!"

"My husband will come back with a note for your husband with instructions.  You will write a check and we will leave it on the door for the pizza boy."

"But, I don't want to leave the pizza on the doorstep!  That will be lunch for tomorrow if nothing else.  It would be ruined, dogs would get into it.  Please, take me back.  This is getting a little too weird for me."

"Nonsense.  I will be feeding you.  You just had a baby.  You are in no condition to put a house together.  You are staying with me for at least a month.  I will go down each day to your home and unpack one box for you.  It will be perfect.  You will then move into a perfectly organized home."  She said with a robotic like voice.

"No, that's not going to fly with me.   We really just need to get our kids settled.  They have been in limbo long enough.  Please take me home."  I should have screamed this at her, but no, I said it in the wimpiest voice I could muster.  

The way this woman spoke, it was hard to describe, but I knew that she was not going to bend or deviate from her agenda.  I wasn't quite sure what to do now.  Especially since I was in her car.  Her husband still had not said a word at this point.  

After driving for a while Annabelle (again, not her real name) spoke again.

"Thursday I will be putting on a puppet/magic show.  Admittance is free, but licorice whips are 10 cents a piece.  Lateness will not be tolerated and I will have to turn those who are not on time away.  You will be there at 10 am sharp.  That shouldn't be a problem since you will be staying in my home."  


I looked at her, waiting for her to bust up laughing.  Who talks like that? 

"Friday I will be putting on a dance performance.  Again, admittance will be free, but popcorn will be 25 cents.  I have made enough flyers for the whole neighborhood announcing my performances.  You will help me deliver them in the morning."

She handed me a flyer.  She was serious. 

"I really don't think I'll be able to help you tomorrow.  I have a really bad sprained ankle."  I pointed to my ankle.  She looked and her eyes narrowed.

After driving around for what seemed like an eternity we got to their house.  When we walked into the front I could see what would be the living and formal dining rooms.  They were void of furniture, but all over the carpet where these strange looking spots.  Tons of them!  Every few inches was a spot and I had to maneuver carefully to avoid them.  

When we walked into the kitchen, her dining table was set for a Thanksgiving feast; tablecloth, goblets, linen napkins, a centerpiece and enough food to feed an army.  "Wow, you have really been working today!"

She pushed me into my chair, dished up my plate and sat across the table.  Her husband was nowhere to be seen.  I noticed she wasn't dishing up for herself.  "Um, are you not going to eat?"  

"No!  This is for you and your family."  She looked at me like I should have already known.

"I really hate for this to go to waste.  I'm not sure when my family will get back."

"They will be here soon enough.  I left my instructions for your husband."

I ate while she stared at me.  It was uncomfortable to say the least.  I decided to ask her about the spots on the carpet.  It was totally rude, but if you saw them you would have asked as well.

"My cat.  My cat has been sick and I clean up her mess with a paper towel.  It leaves these spots and I don't know what to do."  She said in her calm robotic voice.

I started to dry heave.  I casually slid my plate away and told her that I was full and that I really wanted to go home.  

"How could you possibly get home?  You don't have a car with you."

"Could your husband take me back?"

"He couldn't.  You will wait here until your husband arrives with your children."

I waited for what seemed like hours when the doorbell rang.  I heard my husband at the door and I was so relieved!

"How did you find me?" I whispered to him.

"It's just down the street.  Why are we whispering?"

"What!  Down the street?  She drove me around for at least 20 minutes!" 

My husband and kids were escorted to the table where Annabelle dished up heaping plates of food.

"Don't eat it!"  I mouthed to my husband.  He looked at me very confused, but followed my urging and said "Oh, we just ate at the house we came from, thank you though."

At this point, without thinking, I asked my husband for the car keys, ran out of the house and drove down the street to my house.  I was so mad!  We were a short walk away!  I ran into the home to call the one person from our church that I had talked to a few times.  My sister had known her in Texas and asked her to look for me when I moved to Oregon.  She wasn't home, a babysitter answered.  I told her to please tell Kymberlee where I was and that I was in some sort of trouble.

Still not thinking clearly, I grabbed some more diapers and went back!  When I think about this story I can't for the life of me figure out why I didn't grab my husband and kids and run out the door as soon as he got there.  No, I went back.

Next time, the conclusion.  It gets even better!

The time I got kidnapped.....

Before you get too excited about the title I need to clarify one thing.  Yes it is true, I found myself kidnapped at one point in my life, but I was not a kid and it was not by a gross man wanting to do gross things!  This is more of a "I can't believe that really happened to you!  Even more, I can't believe you let that happen to you!" kind of a story. 

Because it is such a long story, I am going to break it down over a few posts.  We'll see how many it takes.

The time I got kidnapped: Part I

3 weeks after having my third child, my husband and I took our family on one of my favorite adventures.  We moved to Oregon.  We didn't know a soul, but we were excited.  We stayed in a rented condo for a month while we looked for and purchased our home.  I had found a home that would be perfect for us.  The neighborhood was clean and nice.  There were kids everywhere for my kids to play with.  But best of all, I could finally feel the end of a whirlwind in sight.  Keep in mind I had just sold and packed up a house while pregnant and moved with a newborn.  I was ready for some stability.

We hadn't been sure exactly how long we would be in the condo looking for our new home, but I had only unpacked the bare minimum and had the moving company deliver a futon, our mattresses, some kitchen items and a box of toys, keeping the rest in storage.  We told our kids that it was going to be like camping, and believe me it was.  

When the weekend of our final move into our home arrived I was filled with excitement.  Packing everything up as quickly as I could, I started running boxes down 3 flights of stairs to the U-haul we had rented.   On one of my last trips down the stairs I missed a step and royally twisted my ankle.  It swelled immediately and was so painful to step on that I had to hop along to get anywhere.  The thought of taking time to go to the doctor to have it looked at sounded more painful to me.  All I wanted was to be in our home, get us unpacked and sit down for once.  I decided it could wait. 

Before our move, we had phoned some people from our church to let them know that we would be moving into the area.  A few of the men offered to help us move our few things that the moving company hadn't kept, from the condo into our home.  We were so relieved.  Especially since I had rendered myself useless.  But we eventually got there and I was just in time for the moving company to arrive with the rest of our things.  One of the men who helped us move from the condo invited my husband and kids over to his house for pizza and to watch a football game.  Even though I was exhausted, I was thrilled with this idea.  It left me and my new baby alone to unpack the kitchen without any interruptions.  My husband worried about leaving me behind, but I assured him that I was perfectly fine and I would be very careful of my ankle.  He left with my two oldest, I put my baby in the swing, and began to dig us out when the weirdest thing happened....

A woman came barging in our front door shaking her hands and screaming "It's OK!  It's OK!  I belong to your church!"  

I looked at her with some confusion.  She was breathless at this point from her obviously over excited state.


"I am here to get you.  You have to come with me right now!"  she continued yelling at me.


"Who are you?" I asked, not quite sure how to process what was happening.


"My name is Annabelle! (changed for privacy of course) You have to come with me now!  I have been waiting all day!"  She still yelled excitedly at me.


"I need to unpack my house.  We just got here, it is getting late and I would really like to get my kitchen unpacked before my kids get back."


She looked at me like I was off my rocker. "I have been waiting!  And now my chicken is burning!  You must come with me now!"


"But, I don't know who you are.  I really need to just get my kitchen unpacked."  I replied with even more confusion.

"You don't need to worry.  I know your house INTIMATELY!  I have been through it many times."  She grabs my hand, drags me towards the door and says "We really need to go now or your dinner will be ruined!"


"But my baby!" I pointed to the swing.  I watched in a dazed horror as she grabbed my diaper bag, and put the baby in the car seat.  Before I could think through all that was happening she was pushing me into her car.  Her husband was in the drivers seat and didn't say anything.  He wouldn't even look at me.


(At this point in the story I need to remind you that I had just had a baby!  I was getting no sleep, I had hormones a raging, and I was so exhausted from everything that I probably couldn't have told you my full name!)

Part II tomorrow!

Keeping up with my goals.

In the post just before this one I told you that I didn't complete my goal of finishing my book by April 15th.  After thinking about it for a while I decided to toot my own horn and tell you that I have kept up with my other goals.

Back in February I wrote about eating better, exercising and not giving up if I have a day where I fall of the wagon.  I decided that my new daily mantra would be: "Today I will.... (insert goal)."


Guess what!  I have lost 11 pounds and I have been exercising consistently.  This morning I ran 5 miles and shaved 6 minutes off of my running time.


Could I have done better with my weight loss?  Yes, but I am making progress so I am very pleased with the results so far.

How about you?  Have you kept up with some of your goals?