Thursday, May 20, 2010

The recieving end...

Yesterday I had the unfortunate opportunity to be on the receiving end of a mother's anger.  It took me by surprise and I remained very calm but I definitely learned a few things from it.  

In the past I've blogged about being very careful about passing judgment of any kind, whether it is assuming that someone has their life all perfectly put together, or assuming that someone has done something to be hurtful.  It's hard sometimes, at least for me, not to pass an immediate judgment on a situation, but I have been trying to stop and listen before I react.  It really isn't fun to be the object of a misunderstanding, but, (and this is a big but!) I learned that I also have an opportunity to influence the outcome of these situations simply by my reactions.  I've had times in the past where my knee jerk reaction would have been to lash out if I was being accused by someone who didn't have all of the facts.   For whatever reason though, yesterday I didn't feel that fight or flight reaction.  I felt calm.  I gave the other person about an hour to calm down and then I called them back to explain my side of the situation.   Once all of the facts were on the table there was a change of heart by this mother.  She knew that there was a miscommunication and that no harm was meant and in the end everything was worked out, apologies were made and a friendship was restored. 

I am not saying that if I reacted positively and calmly every time to one of these situations that it would always end well, because the other person is in control of his or her own reaction to it all.  What I am saying is that I would always feel like I had my character intact and would feel at peace with my part of the scenerio.  

Maybe yoga has done more good for me than I thought!!!



  1. It sounds like it all worked out well. The best part (it sounded like to me) was how good it felt to be in control of your own feelings and to remain calm in the midst of the storm. That is something you can carry with you in any situation. Yes, indeed, yoga is a wonderful thing.

  2. Cool! I love it when we can be in control of situations and feelings.

    The only mother yoga is not helping me with is our own. 5 mins with her and yoga leaps out the window.

    I never leave the kids with her but yesterday I left my youngest daughter for one hour and came back to find that my mother had decided (God only knows why) to give her an emo haircut with one side long and the other short! And next week is her ballet performance and my plans as to how I was going to do the hair have been ruined!

    Sorry just had to gripe about that one!


  3. Oh no!!!! My mom (love her dearly) one time decided to give my daughter bangs. Not as bad as an emo cut, but still! We shouldn't have to clarify when we drop off our children that a haircut is not part of the babysitting! I am so sorry!!!!